Book Recommendation: The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
“We can’t stop the fact that it happens, but we can all agree that it shouldn’t.”
“An affair is one story that is experienced by two (or more) people in completely different ways. Hence, it becomes many stories, and we need a frame that can contain these highly differentiated and clashing accounts.”
“Affairs have a lot to teach us about relationships. They open the door to a deeper examination of values, human nature and the power of eros. What draws people outside the lines they worked so hard to establish?
Why does sexual betrayal hurt so much? Is an affair always selfish and weak, or can it in some cases be understandable, acceptable, even an act of boldness and courage?”
How We Can Relate:
An affair is a romantic friendship or emotionally intense sexual relationship with another person other than your partner or spouse. In most cases, affairs happen on a short-term basis although there are several exceptions; and they happen between two individuals who are not married or otherwise committed to each other.
Most affairs are kept as a secret which adds up to the sensitivity of the subject.
According to my book resource, it couldn’t be denied that affairs happen even though they should not. Also, there are always different sides to every story which reflect the vulnerability of human emotions.
This makes it even harder to make specific judgement and conclusions. But the bottom line is that; affairs can teach us a lot about human nature, values and weaknesses. And that every affair has its own repercussions.
Having an Affair as a Form of Cheating
It remains unclear as to why some people resort to having affairs despite being aware that it can harm their most valued relationships and can draw the person they truly love away from them. After all, human emotions are never easy to understand and sometimes, it’s a challenge to find sense in them.
Having an affair is a sign that things aren’t right in a relationship. Without the willingness and open-mindedness to address the issues, a partner may fall under the trap of an affair or temptation.
It is an unhealthy way of attempting to have their physical or emotional needs fulfilled such as intimacy, sense of appreciation and sex among many others.
Therefore, a cheating partner sees an alternate relationship or affair as a feasible way to meet these particular needs.
Examples of alternate relationship or affairs are; office flings, phone relationships, use of dating apps, sexual relations with another person, pursuing romantic involvements and flirting on social media.